So is no one going to talk about the fact Perceptor’s name pretty much means the death of the universe?
what
The Perceptor Effect: The phenomenon when the universe’s rate of shrinkage massively accelerates resulting mass star death, collapse, and planetary breakdown until the entirety of the universe becomes one single point of existence.
gen z: *blurry stock photo of lemons with the caption “lemn”*
Here have this
yup.
Lemon/lemoff erasure
i need to save “lemn’t”
(short) story time
so we’re reading shakespeare in english class rn, and at some point the class went off on a tangent about comedy
my teacher said something like “comedy is always at the expense of someone else, it just depends on how overt it is”
i, of course, disagreed, and spent like 5 minutes explaining the concept of modern surreal/absurd humor while trying not to die laughing when i described the “me when lemon” meme
you know
[transcript: a stock photo of a man holding a flashlight on a gradiented background of white to yellow. the flashlight’s beam is shining at a floating lemon, and the word “lemon” is written next to it in red text. a caption at the top says “when lemon”. end transcript]
I’m so glad that our lemon tree finally grew and sprouted fruitful lemony lemons. I mean, imagine, we can make lemonade, key lemon pie, lemon merengue pie. I think it’s the most valuable of property that we have. I think we should go to the bank and get a loan, actually I think we should just get lemon tree insurance and then get a loan and use the lemon tree as collateral because it is now insured. I truly do love our lemon tree. Just imagine a life full of lemon trees, and all our beautiful lemons, endless possibilities. They’re so beautiful, I wish I was a lemon. You wish you were a lemon? If you were a lemon I would put you on my shelf and cherish you like I cherish all our lemons. That’s so beautiful, like I only hope that the whores aren’t stealing our lemons you know those naughty whores always steal lemons. we do have a couple lemon whores in this community, those damn lemon-stealing whores I hate them no one will take our prized lemons from us. Hey, has it been about 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree? It has been about 10 seconds till we looked at our lemon tree. Hey what the fuck
Bothering people, clearing out universes, y’know the usual.
You took a long ding dang nap, Primus.
A few cycles is hardly noteworthy. I have had to resort to more extensive periods of dormancy in ages past. Besides, this facet of my self has long since served its purpose. Better to let my creations thrive in their newfound freedom without being weighed down by the memories of an ancient dreamer. Also, I suppose as long as you are not clearing out my universes, destruction remains part of the delicate beauty of life…. You didn’t touch one of my universes, right? Is that why you are gyrating?
Another ripe lemon falls to the floor, adding to the ever growing pile of lemons. The little tree, covered in bright yellow fruits, is strangely prosperous in the cool, dark room. Another day or two and you could start a lemonade stand.
In an invisible breeze, the tree and it’s lemons sway ever so slightly. It’s always a difficult choice. The lemon must be perfectly shaped in order for his most evil plans to be completed.
With one big wiggle the chosen lemon vessel detaches from the tree and falls.
“Ow.” Lemon was a little late with his timing.
Thankfully no one was to here to see it so it never happened.
If a lemon falls in an abandoned military silo does it still make a sound? Apparently yes, which is odd considering lemons shouldn’t be allowed to make much noise.
Alright, time to get to fun.
Lemon wastes no time locating Silas and the other mortals in the silo. Best to avoid everything else.
Silently he makes his way through the base, leaving tiny doodles in the dust as he goes.
Somebody really needs to clean in here..
One dust mural later, Lemon has found him.. or just the room Silas was in. At last, everything was in place. It was time.
Lemon waited until Silas looked away to put a lemon on a nearby counter, just far enough not to be noticed at first glance.
